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A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...
 
I started writing this blog about something else. It was art / business focused and I was lamenting my lack of organization and selling. But I couldn't finish it. I tried 6-7 times and no words would come. So I thought I would just write what was on my heart instead.
 
It has been a tumultuous season. I lost my father this fall after a 15yr battle to Alzheimer's. Because of that, I haven't been able to think about productivity and making art. My mind has been occupied with heaven, and what it is like. My body is exhausted after a normal day at work. And my creativity is only coming in weak dribbles occasionally. I want to sleep, but can't. And when I should be very active during the day, all I want to do is lie down.
Me & Dad being silly
I've also made a difficult decision to transition out of a job that I mostly love, but is taking too much of me. It is a bittersweet change, but one that I knew in my heart had to happen. I find myself getting lost in mundane tasks thinking "at LEAST I can accomplish THIS." And as much as I want to paint, I sometimes just don't have the energy for it. But this is all part of the healing process is it not? There are spaces in our life where we will not be productive. There is a need for rest. There is a need for reflection. And I don't need to paint every single day to call myself a painter. Opera singers don't perform every day. They would ruin their voice. They need rest and so do we.
The struggle comes because we are inherently creative people and we crave that dichotomy of peace and exhilaration that we feel when we're making. "I know I CAN do it. I just don't feel like doing it NOW." And the result is we feel that we've wasted precious time and daylight. But with age comes wisdom, and I know "this too shall pass." This isn't giving up. This is a sweet surrender and letting go for just a time. There will be light, and energy, and creativity on the other side of this. But for now, it is ok to rest.
Ecclesiastes 3:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2  a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, 3  a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4  a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 6  a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7  a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8  a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

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